OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
