everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My bed smells like the plague
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