Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
