how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
