It's just like the Real World with babies
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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