I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
