i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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