To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
