I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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