Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
