Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
