I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
