Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
