i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
