Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Randomize
