Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize