He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
