i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Everything about him screamed your future.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
you had me at cake vodka
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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