They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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