I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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