I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
