I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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