I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
