Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
