He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Are we still banned from the library?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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