is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
