The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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