WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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