so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
