turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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