we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
