with your own penis?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
