she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
