we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
