I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
