dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
