just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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