she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize