It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
