mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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