the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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