On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
