ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
