She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize