it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize