Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
