He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
