Jerry, you need to find god
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
