How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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