Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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