so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
