I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
