he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
