exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize