just tell him i said nine months
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize