Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My vagina is very pro this idea
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
